her vagine was all disorganized.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
