$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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