you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
