not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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