my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
