The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
