Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dicks are not precious.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
