Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
