i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize