I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize