Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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