So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
