Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
