If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
