do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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