I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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