he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You may now shotgun with the bride
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
