And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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