How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Randomize