I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
At least make sure they are 18
Why
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
