The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
In America we eat man semen.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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