i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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