Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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