She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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