Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize