So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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