The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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