it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
