I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize