I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my being single is dangerous.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
