fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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