So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
