he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
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