they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
