There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
