i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
