i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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