we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
