The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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