Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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