She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
