guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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