Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
