I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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