the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
