so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's shark week go big or go home
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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