So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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