Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
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Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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