Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
