the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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