With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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