Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
