then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
