This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
