How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Boobs are out for the taking
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
