so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
