some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
