Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
