oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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