I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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