I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.