I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail