I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever