She said her name was "party"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
