Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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