i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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