he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
