Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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