so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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