i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
from now on my penis is your penis
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
No subtext here. People are naked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
