I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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